Life after Brexit

It has been a while since my last post but too many things are happening. Brexit affects us in many ways, psychologically and financially as well.

#First of all, me and my boyfriend were attacked by drunk English people in front of a pub, with the "Go the fuck home" sentence that could not be said for many years.. Then at workplaces, foreign workers are insulted, advised to go home. Nice...

Secondly, GBP value decreased.. A lot. I can feel it when converting, for example sending money home.

Thirdly, everything has become unsure. People do not dare to plan. We do not dare to change jobs, or quit jobs as we are afraid what comes next, we may be sent away if we become unemployed for some reason. I am not sure if I want to live like this for long... All my friends say we should stay until we can apply for citizenship. Half a year and I can apply for Permanent resident, and after that a year for citizenship. Ok, maybe I'll do it just in case... But my enthusiasm about my future here vanished...

Right now I am registered with two agencies, plus finished my catering job hopefully forever. Not a nice feeling to be insecure though... But I cannot do what I hate anymore. I had to break the line of catering jobs in my CV in order to get a better job one day. So here I am, at the age of 38, still studying, learning new jobs and skills...Getting tired...

That is all...Brexit is everywhere... Creating a gap between foreigners and English people. The future is hanging in the air...

It has been a long time since my last post, but there seemed to be no interest and I lost interest. Mention should be made, I hardly ever open my computer, rather just use iPhone or iPad. Always in the rush.

I am still doing the catering job, but also I had the opportunity to work at a Special Education needs school. I loved it, This is something I would love to do. Sadly, it is only supply teaching assistant work, but I am hoping for the best from September. Until, I am trying to apply. Today an NHS application job, and I will try my best for something stable and better paying. I am fed up. I do not understand why they need 12-15 pages application forms at schools, it takes forever to apply for a job. Even for the NHS jobs I set up accounts for certain sites and I just log on and quick apply. All I need to write is the motivational letter. No hassle...

I would need at least an extra day off to be able to apply for jobs, plus study to finish my last exam. I will have too see how I can sold it, as my other half is not well-paid at the moment, so I cannot afford to loose money. |Also, Brexit hanging in the air..I am not sure if I want to stay an how long I want to stay. We already have been insulted, and my other half beaten by drunk English foreign haters, and at our workplaces there are always comments about us should leave... Fed up... Great disapointment.

Again, I am writing instead of applying. So I will keep this short as sadly my days are not 48-hours long.... We'll see if there is any interest anyways...

Have a nice day everybody.

Bye interest :(

Seems like I have proved to be boring and not interesting as nobody reads my thoughts any more :( I must admit it is not a nice feeling as I was so excited at the beginning that quite a few views happened in the first few posts. Maybe just because it was a new blog. I don't know how it works. I will try to keep writing, and we'll see. Maybe it will be my own diary online :)

I am just so busy doing a casual temporary catering job, hate it, but pays my bills. I do hope I will be able to teach from September, it just seems such a long time. I am surviving in the meantime.

I got tired so I will keep this post short. Not as it matters... :)

Bye everybody

EU or not EU?

This is a topic that is stirring up everybody nowadays in this country, and probably in the whole EU. I have to admit, it gives me an unpleasant feeling as I do not know what will happen if. I have talked to many English people, colleagues, friends, even my landlord and landlady. So far I only met people who will vote to leave. So that's it. But what happens next? How are they planning to do that? How to regulate work permits and how to deal with foreign workers already working here for years? Many questions. Obviously, they cannot kick out everyone straight away. that would mean that hardly anybody would stay in catering, hospitality, superstores, car washes, etc. There are not as many British people as many positions will have to be filled. And even from all of them, a great percentage will not be willing to do these jobs...

I was thinking about this a lot. What would I do? One of my colleagues asked me if I was going to vote. I said no, as it is not my country and personally I would not be happy if any foreigners voted in Hungary to decide about the future of my country. I will just go with the flow. But when they ask what I would do, I say I would make conditions. Like language test to start with. Anybody who is choosing to live here permanently should learn and reach a certain level of communication in English language. Now you can say it is easy for me to talk. Yes..But I have learnt it. I have chosen to live here as I speak the language. My other half came here with a few words. Then he went to free language school. He woke up on his days of to sign up early in the morning, went home and went back as classes were still held in the afternoon. Hell of an effort. In his free time he sat at the local pub, he knew somebody would always sit next to him to chat (people up North are extremely friendly). He bought a pint for the person and chatted. And then we moved to London, and from kitchen porter he became a chef as he could communicate by that time. That is what we need here. People who are willing to integrate and can be useful members of the society.

Another thing. Simply benefits should not be given without a history of employment at least of two years. Yes..Even for British citizens... Ah well, this would create tensions..I am not talking about health conditions... Simply about bloody social benefiters. As when you have operation you have to sign you have been paying NI for minimum of two years.. Same should apply for benefits.

Today I am extremely tired but this topic woke me up a bit. I am a bit stressed, however all my friends say it will not happen quickly and those who work here and not on benefits will not be effected, only newcomers... I am really curious...

Any opinions?

I kept a bit more quiet as I have got a job now, plus exam coming, plus I am applying for NHS jobs all the time, which takes a lot of time. And also I see that the interest for my blog kind of died... I hope it will be still on for a little bit.. It is not nice writing for nobody.

Nice evening everybody.

Keeping up

I always wondered what normal would be concerning how often one has to write to a blog. Well, I think the conclusion is that there is no rule :) I am busy finding a job, applying to positions, stressing about money and everything all in all. I know I shouldn't. But that's the way it is when someone moves to a new place.

Right now I cannot properly enjoy the seaside, I cannot concentrate on the beauty of living here, and I am far too stressed to study, and my exam is coming in June. But even for me, there are some breaks, like today when I switch off and treasure what I have got. And now back to reality.

It is late but I will apply for jobs. I will also record it to Universal Job match, in case I need it for my Job Seekers interviews. In the meantime it seems I will have a private student, which is great for me and she might be able to help me with temporary jobs until my teacher career starts. In July it seems I will have a course and if they like me it could be "the beginning of beautiful friendship" :) When I first entered the language school who offered me job I felt like last time in 1999 when I met Imre and the team of my first language school. Kind of I belong there. Hopefully I do.

One of the worst things happened since the move that I have lost two friends again. Mainly because it has proved they are not friends... Should have known when two times we arranged meetings in London and the disappeared, phones switched off, etc... Now one of them (they are a couple) fucked up my reference, I am still without a job with the teaching agency because she did not sort it out properly... Never mind... I have learnt again that I am only important for myself.

That is all. I will write more when I have more time. Seems like I will never catch up with my own life....

Arriving

One of the most exciting times is the first week at a new place. It is both full of excitement and stress. Everything is new, you have to learn the dynamics of the new place, where to find certain places, like post office, library, shops, etc. It takes a lot of time, not to mention the moving and packing part. For me there is always the stress whether the moving guy will be there in time, will have enough space in his van, and if he will help at all with loading. We had cases before when the moving guy turned up with the child seats in the car still, no extra storage space and still he charged us double price because we had to go to rounds. One guy never turned up, just texted us an hour before moving...  This time we were "lucky", the guy simply came two hours earlier without notice... Otherwise he was fine.

One of the most hated jobs for me is unpacking. Boxes everywhere, vacuum bags all over and a great mass in general. This time I invested in good quality plastic boxes, so everything looks better and whatever |I don't need I can keep in them and it looks a bit more organised and definitely neater. We are also lucky because we moved to a big house, which we only share with a couple (the owners) and their son who is leaving to uni in September. Plenty of space and first time ever abroad I have the luxury of two rooms. As soon as I sorted out my stuff, it will be such a nice feeling. It already is... Simple things like having your own bathroom and toilet. Neat and clean. No need to wait for them when you really need to go. Living in shared houses is really hard for years and years. As a couple, even more challenging.

So here we are, finally living by the sea, my dream has come true. Still not fully private rent, but we are quite separated, so I can survive sharing the kitchen and the washing machine :)

And the bonus: dogs :) I could not keep a dog myself, but these people have three in the house so I have plenty of love to spread around :)

It is a strange feeling to live at a place which is a holiday location, I constantly feel like wow. I love the sea :)

This is it for now. I have got the frustrating duty to go and spread more CVs... That is the other really stressful pat of moving. Finding a new job. Again, my other half was luckier... We'll see what the next two weeks bring for me.

Have a nice day everyone.

Job Search

I do apologise, I could not write for a while as I am in the middle of changing life and living place and all in all, everything. Not easy...The stress, the logistics, arranging every single move you make. In our case, going for viewings, job interviews, as we are moving from one county to another and we decided that for the first time, we want to do it planned and at least one of us wants to start at a new job straight away. My other half is a chef, it was easier for him, so all sorted. As I am planning to make a big step and change from catering to teaching, it is longer, but the clearance process is nearly finished and I do hope to find something soon enough.

I often think back to my last fifteen years and all the moving I have done.From Hungary to London, from London to Hungary, from Hungary to Canada,from  Canada to Hungary,from London to Hungary, from Hungary to Manchester, from Manchester to London,from London to Surrey and now from Surrey to West Sussex. Surely I have got the routine. I know how to pack, I know how to arrange moving, I have a list in my head what to change straight away after moving (address with bank, ebay, amazon, HM revenue, etc.) This makes it easier. Thanks to London I have learnt to be aware with landlords, deposits and things like that. Still it is getting harder and harder every time mentally, and job search is harder when one wants to make a big change.

In general, both for NHS jobs and teaching jobs, it takes around 1,5 hours to complete an application form for a position. You cannot send a CV. Every single place requires its own forms, checks and so on. It is nearly a full time job to look for a job. One cannot really do it while working in catering. So I  am taking the risk and leave a gap between employments. If I am lucky I started in time with the agency and I will be positioned somewhere soon after we arrive. But for this I had to start nearly two month in advance....
if you live in your own home country, everything is easier, job seeking as well. or maybe I was lucky. I never had to go through that many checks, applying for hours for one single position. maybe Eastern Europe is designed differently. Maybe I was just lucky to start at a very young age at a language school which based my reputation and I was well-known afterwards. I do not know. But it is a great pressure for me psychologically. We'll see how it turns out.

This post might not be the most consistent one. I am in a rush and I have too many things in my mind. I just did nit want the blog to die like my previous one. i will be more regular when I am settled again.

Be back soon. :)

Housing abroad

I have been really busy in the last few days, mainly because my workplace is understaffed, and partly as we are moving again soon. Yes, again... We have been living here in the UK for four years now, and we have moved four times already, this will be the fifth. This is something we would never do in our home country. Not in Eastern Europe. This moving when we have enough or a better opportunity is a western thing, typical of America, Canada and The UK, and in more and more Western European countries.

In Eastern Europe people want to have their own houses. We would rather take long term mortgages than to rent a property, even if it does not make sense. This is how our parents did it, and our grandparents, and their parents, and their parents. If you do not have your own property, you are looked at in a strange way, kind of how comes you never managed to reach that point to buy a house. It is changing now since we had the economical crisis, but still the tendency is to buy your own house.

Not in western countries. People rather rent properties, less hassle and you can relocate yourself easier if there is a good opportunity. To be hones, I just started to like this way of life, however it is still nice to think of the fact that we have got a flat in Hungary as a base, so there is a 'home'. With rented property I can never have the feeling or 'home', I do not buy expensive furniture, I do not decorate it exactly the way I like it as it is not mine. The landlord have to approve everything, and if I have to move it is more trouble to move lots of stuff than having only what we really need.

The problem with Canada or UK housing is that it is so expensive. If you earn minimal wage, you can probably only afforrd to live in a shared accommodation for a long time and it is really hard psychologically, and  quite often physically as well. Why?
First of all, you have to live with strangers. They can become friends or mates, but they will always be strangers. You do not tolerate them as you tolerate your family or partner. We have different lifestyles, different habits, and there will always be conflicts. An example is today for me, I am shattered as our flatmates had a party all night loudly. This is the first time it happened so I did not make a big deal, and we are leaving soon anyway, but it does affect my day today.
We used to live with close friends who became nearly enemies because the way they lived was not compatible with the way we wanted to live and it ended up badly. You know a person for real when you have lived with that person... Big truth...
There will be times when you need clean clothes but the washing machine is always used by someone else. Annoying. People using your stuff and not cleaning them, sometimes others eating your food without permission. When you are in your early twenties, you can survive for quite a while like this, but for us closer to forty it is extremely hard. Also, when you are single it is different, you socialise with flatmates more, and you do not need that much private sphere. As a couple you need privacy, intimacy, which are really hard to create in a shared place.

Sometimes cultural differences are challenging as well. I used to live with Pakistani people. They were lovely, friendly but so loud. Not because they wanted to be loud, but because that is the way they live, speak loudly, always high on emotions. Same with Italian and Greek people as I experienced. With my own nation I never really had good experience with shared places, so we tend to say never with Hungarians, which is sad but our nation tends to behave strangely when out of their home country. I do not get into details now, if anybody is curious, you can always ask.

Renting a flat or house is a big step and requires hell a lot of money. As most of us send money home and quite the majority of Eastern Europeans work in blue collar jobs, being able to afford a flat is challenging. We could do it in Manchester as it was quite cheap, but in London we had to give up after less than a year as we were technically just earning to the ridiculously expensive studio we were renting. Now we are moving to a transition place, a mid aged couple is renting two rooms and a separate bathroom and toilet in their house as their kids all moved out and they are alone, so we will only have to share the kitchen and the garden with them and their dogs. So not an own flat but not a busy shared house. Also because they are not young and they do not work in shifts, we will have a peaceful as I expect. I cannot wait to have some privacy again. And we'll see what happens after if we manage to settle and I find a teaching or NHS job.

I would be interested in others' opinion and experience in housing abroad. Feel free to comment, it is an interesting topic.
Have a nice day everyone.

Job search abroad

Everybody who moves to a foreign country has to face it. Looking for a job is stressful enough in your own country, not to mention a different one. Let's face it, we all come here without experience from the destination country. In my case, the UK. The majority do not speak fluent English, so they have an extra stress to deal with. but even for a person like me, fluent in English, I have to make certain sacrifices to reach my goal one day.

The first one was starting with a job I had never done before, and which has got no relations to my previous profession. As a previous very experienced teacher I was used to manage my time, my projects, the way I wanted to teach and even who I wanted to teach. As long as I reached to targets for the schools I worked for, or as long as my private students passed their language exams, nobody ever told me how to do my job. "Just do it with the results you produce and we are happy."

When I came to the UK I had no UK equivalent qualification and I had no idea how I could have it. All I heard was that I need to do extra college years to get my degree here. I had no money and time for that, so I started to look for something else instantly as I needed to earn money. Customer service is a job most people would start with who speak English at a communicative level. So I sign my first contract. I hated it. My boss was horrible, and English customer service is really different from Hungarian. Here you have to be humble, always full of apologies for no reasons, harshly 'licking asses for very little money' (apologies for the language...). That is really not my nature, but I have to do it as it earns my living. People here in the UK are very cheeky generally when it comes to customer service, as they know that in harsh capitalism all companies will do anything to keep customers and to attract more. So we end up people complaining about the barista not stirring their tea at a coffee shop, about a meal being awful but they eat it fully, and so on. I have so many stories that I regret I have never collected them in a book as it would be worth to publish.
Central London is the worst of all, there people are extremely rude and they would go any distances for a free drink or meal or a refund. So I have been dealing with this for four years now.

Partly it was my fault.In 2013 I found out on a Facebook forum in a Hungarian group that with a teacher degree we can actually apply for the UK validation through the National College for Teacher Training for free. No need for NARIC, the organisation who qualifies foreign qualifications. I will always be grateful for that person who shared the link as still, even on the website of The Department of Education they never mention this free option. So I sent my degree and I got my QTS back in about two weeks. And ever since, I never did anything, just started now. You can ask why.

As I mentioned previously, self-esteem is highly ruined in most cases with foreign workers. We come here as somebodies (doctors, nurses, teachers, engineers, etc) and all of a sudden we become nobodies. I have been shouted and looked down so many times that finally I started to feel very little. And that is no good for starting a professional life. |Even though I speak really good English, I did not dare to apply for teaching positions. It is better now, as in posh Surrey from my posh customers got the re-assurance and self-esteem I needed. Yes, because if these rich and usually highly educated people think I deserve more, than I may believe it. Thanks for that for all my customers here :)

Another factor is being comfortable. When somebody starts working for customer service, money comes relatively quickly and you never have to fear that there will be no more work. It gives you the feeling of security. And let's admit, after the constant uncertainty and insecurity of living in Hungary, it feels so good. This feeling keeps us, and kept me, in this role for years and years. Also, in my case, my other half learnt to speak English, became a chef, which is a highly needed role here, so I now he will always have a job, even if I need a bit of time to change.

Right now I am also studying medical administration. I really want to work for the NHS, which is the National Healthcare System in the UK. I always wanted to work in healthcare, but at home teaching came quickly, I was good at it and too busy to ever consider changing. One great advantage of living in a foreign country is the new chance to build a new you. That is what I am doing now. Even if it is a bit slow, it is constant and I know it will happen one day. I have friends doing the same, respect for all who struggled years to learn a language and get qualifications later to start a new life here. I have couple of friends who used to be nurses in Hungary, saving lives in intensive care units or other departments, and then they were doing cleaning jobs, or old people care for years to develop their language skills and get UK experience or Canadian experience. That is really big and brave! I would never be that brave to go and live in a foreign country without speaking the language decently. I am proud of all my friends.

Well, this is all for today. The cores have been told, and I don't think any of the topics should be discussed too lengthy. I am wishing everyone a nice evening.

Cultural differences

Today Facebook popped up some memories from this day from previous years, and an article I shared made me bring up this topic:

http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/piss-hungarian/

When somebody moves abroad the first few week are both amazing and stressful. This is called a 'cultural shock'. Only those know who ever moved out of their comfort zone and home country, but it is worth of a topic to mention.

First time I went abroad for living was in 1997 when there was no EU, England was an island and it was not easy to get here. I had to go through an Au-pair agency, they sorted everything for me, no web interviews, no easy enter at the border. After a lot of hassle, paying fees, I landed at Heathrow airport, the family waiting for me. It was so big and modern. My boss had a huge Volvo and they loved on a huge farm, breeding Labrador dogs and cows (it was also the year of the mad cow disease, which is all forgotten now, but on that farm in that year I actually felt all the pain and frustration of farmers. I had also learnt to respect them.). I had to go to Slough to register myself and get work permit for that family only. Then I signed up for a language course in a college which seemed to me as something from the future. There was no internet, only writing letters to my parents and friends, and once a week very expensive phone calls through Hungary Direct, which meant my parents paid for phone charges. It was shocking and exciting at the same time. One positive side of it that I have many handwritten letters as memories from my dad who died long time ago, and from my mum and friends. They always warm up my heart when I read them during my visits back to Hungary now.

The biggest cultural shock was still Canada, even though in 2006 when I first went there as a Live-in Caregiver Hungary was already much more developed and open for the western world. But I will never forget the feeling when I landed in Toronto, sat in a huge American car and drove down to my new home. It was like suddenly popping into an American film. Massive highways, wide roads, skyscrapers (I felt dizzy looking at them, they will always fascinate me), different smells and bright bright lights. I felt like Gulliver in the land of giants. After a few weeks I got used to big spaces and different food, however most of my friends suffered from digestion problems and loss of hair because the food is so different and the water is so hard,
An extra positive shock came when I first went to the nature there. Never ever in my life had I seen such colours. the greens, and the colours of fall is so different to the colours in Europe. Later on I learnt at Canadian Studies that the trees have got a unique pigmentation in Canada, therefore you can only see those colours there in the world. Fascinating! The pictures in guide books are not photoshopped, it does look like that. Then we visited Muskoka, where I saw such crystal clear water that I could actually sew the stones at the bottom deep down at about God knows how many meters. Not to mention Niagara Falls and Devil's Punchbowl around Hamilton. Even though I never really felt home there and it was also too cold, I will always be grateful for life that I could experience it and live in that amazing country. One deep regret is that I never saw British Columbia and The Rockies.

And here I am now in England again, Hungary is an EU country and The UK as well. It was easy this time, no work permits, quick issue of a Social Insurance Number for my partner (I did have one from before) and there it is, easy to start looking for a job, all you need is a bank account.
First we lived in Manchester, a place where people are generally very friendly, but also sceptic about foreigners. First time in my life I was stopped in the street and asked what language we speak... There was one funny situation, at least for me, when my dear other half went to buy some beers. While walking home with the beers in his hands, a police car stopped him and wanted to check his identity, as apparently you are not allowed to carry alcohol uncovered there in the street.. Poor my man hardly spoke any English that time, had no ID on him, tried to call me but I was at work not answering the phone, so he ended up being leaded home with the police, they checked his ID there and told him off...He waited for me red faced and angry, but all I could do was laugh. Sometimes we learn cultural differences thorough our own mistakes.

Then came London, an alien. You have to accommodate to all kind of cultures and customs, in a way it is easy to merge there, but you need to have a very high level of tolerance to live within that environment.
Now we live in Surrey. Very posh.. Because of England wanting to quit the EU, and due to the fact that this island is seriously overpopulated now, I can feel first time ever that I am not really wanted here by many people. Customers ask me where I come from, interested in how I came here, but when I start talking to them there are always questions about my opinion on England quitting the EU, about the migrant crisis, etc. It is hard to phrase honestly but in a way I cannot get into trouble. Of course I do have an opinion, but when someone works in customer service, you have to keep it to yourself. It is like politics.

There is also an interesting factor about living on an island. Yes, even if it is a big and powerful country, the United Kingdom is an island. No matter if they part of the EU, they will always be separated by the sea and by the narrowed set of mind that nothing is too important outside the islands coasts as they do not need others, they were fine here for thousands of years. I am still surprised about the lack of international knowledge about nations, other cultures and people. Educated and rich people asked me what the official language is in Hungary (isn't it obvious?), I have been asked if I ride a horse here as we are a horse riding nation (yeah, we were before around year 1000, when finally Steven I settled the Hungarian tribes in the Carpathian Basin...). Saying that being Hungarian or Spanish is the same again makes me surprised... However, I had a young girl colleague in Manchester who was surprised by the fact that her going to Crete actually means going to Greece for a holiday. Education here in the UK is much more laid back and puts much less pressure on students then in Hungary, but on the other side it gives much less general knowledge about the world. You win, you lose. I am not sure if I want my future child being educated here or in Hungary...

Coming from an ex-socialist country, I also see a huge difference in the attitude to life and work between a long-term welfare society and the ones that grew out of ex-dictatorships. Here or in Canada, people are generally very lazy from an Eastern European person's point of view. I have talked about this with many friends, they all agree. In Eastern Europe or in Slavic countries you constantly have to survive, Even if communism is over. Corruption and unemployment is everywhere. You don't know what you are told, you can go home forever. No legal rights, no government help for housing and low incomes. Work until you die, that is all you can do. Nothing is sure, you cannot rely on your recent status in life, it can change in ten minutes any time. politics is everywhere, and incomes are so low that young people have no chance to buy an own flat, not to mention a house as nobody from the middle class could afford mortgage payments, or if they can you cannot be sure if it stays like that for the next 25 years. While in England, Canada you know if you work hard, or at least decently, you will keep your job as long as you can. Firing somebody takes hell of a lot of time and investigation beforehand here, as employees have rights. That is something which was new for me, but now I am getting used to it and I really like it. I do not need to be scared constantly of loosing my job. From a low-income waitress job, I can support my mum, we pay my other half's mortgage and we can travel within the UK or to home regularly. We cannot show too much yet, but I am sure we'll be there in three years time.

I could go on long pages about these cultural differences, but it is high time to stop now and get a bit of rest. As it is Easter weekend, and Bank Holidays are generally nightmares for people in customer service, catering and hospitality. Even if I manage to find a teaching job, I will always respect the people working in this industry as I know how hard and demanding it is. Al right, we get extra paid holiday days during the years, but it will never compensate not having Christmas, New Years Eve and Day, Easter, and so on. Not to mention the fact that never ever in my life I got extra pay for working all these Bank Holidays. Unlike Tube workers, Healthcare workers, etc.

That is all for today. By the way: a 'moggy' is a cat. Yes. And even many English people would not know it :)

Language funs

As a foreigner, there will always be great laughs about certain language mistakes or misunderstandings. I have been very tired in the last couple of weeks, so I managed to have some funny situations, even though it is not very common for me. 'Vinegar ice cream' instead of vanilla, 'biscuit' instead of brisket (anyway, who the hell knows what a brisket of beef is? Even some of my English colleagues had no idea, which made me feel better).

As someone graduated from English and American literature and language, I am always fascinated by language differences and mistakes. And let's admit, English pronunciation is a tricky little 'alien' for everyone whose mother tongue is not English. Sometimes it can even be tricky for English people :))

I always try to detect the origin of words, English language is a great target from this point of view. Many times the word says it all.. Like I had one of those 'aha' moments when I realised why a cling film is a cling film. Isn't it obvious? It is so clingy! I keep telling myself that I will collect these language bits but then I am too lazy to do it. Such a shame... But never say never :) Usually it all comes during conversations, a bit more often nowadays as I have an English friend who is similarly interested n languages. We can have endless conversations about all these things. Last time we went for a walk around the lovely area here. So he came up with all these words for the same action: rambling, walking, wondering, hiking, roaming. How beautiful... But when we asked a walking group whom we met on our way, they had no idea about whether they were rambling or walking. And they added that the South African member would say they were hiking.
Same about the rain and moist here in England. Raining, drizzling, shower, pouring, hazy, misty, foggy, moggy. Us foreigners will always struggle using these, even if we have a thesaurus with us, as one has to feel it. Language is so varied, so changing all the time that even with our own mother tongue, we can never stop learning. Isn't it mesmerising? I wish I was better at linguistics, not literature... But I wasn't.... :)

Writing a blog in English is a new and exciting experience for me. To be honest, last time I wrote longer texts was at university when my writing skills were really good. Using academic language at an everyday basis was so much different. This is one of my great sadnesses. Finishing uni and stopping teaching resulted in the declining of my academic language skills. Years of customer service reduced my language use for basic sentences, especially in Central London where I had to 'dum' my English to be understood, as not many people speak highbrow English in the area I was based.
Here in Surrey it is the other way round. You would get phone calls like: "Hello, I am calling to enquire about the availability of a table at your restaurant for tomorrow at lunchtime." Ha-ha, well said :))) This was today :))

This post is less 'heavy' then the opening one, though I should not scare away the new readers, rather attract them :)

For real fun, here is my favourite poem that demonstrates the tricky nature of English pronunciation:

http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

Hope you enjoyed it. I am happy  to get comments about language matters and I am always interested in rarely used words and phrases. Ah, by the way: who knows what a 'moggy' is? I will give the answer in the next post.

There is always a last moment when somebody starts writing a blog. It can be a happy moment, a sad moment or a frustrating one. All of a sudden, the person feels that she has to let it out and then the blog is created. For me it was yesterday at work, At the moment I am a waitress in England, which has nothing to do with my original profession (I am a teacher), but it earns my living for now. So.. I was serving a couple when the man asked me if I was Spanish. I said no, I am Hungarian. "Oh, it's almost the same, isn't it?" That was the answer....

That was the moment when I smiled, but inside I felt my anger coming up after four years of living here and being exposed to countless similar situations. Mention should be made, this is not the first time I live abroad, it all started in 1997 when I was 18, England, Canada, I lived at many places and experienced different attitudes throughout all these years. I have to admit, the world is changing...

In 1997 I came to England as an Au-pair and I generally enjoyed it. The contrast between my home country and UK was enormous, we were not even talking about the EU, so England was still very "English". You know what I mean...

Many years have passed, Canada was a different world and I do not want to get into details now, maybe later at certain points for  comparison. Now here we are with my other half in England, he used to be a fire fighter, now a chef, me a teacher and now a waitress. I do have my Qualified Teacher Status, actually for about two years now, but my self esteem was ruined so badly that I just started to look for a job within my profession again.

Why is the self esteem ruined. This is something that only those understand who gave up everything and move abroad to start a new life in the hope of a better one. All ex communist countries are crashing, there are millions struggling with similar feelings, I am not alone, just trying to write it out as I am very much of a person of words.

You have a life in your home country. You are appreciated, have status, friends, a home with privacy, family. Then you decide to torn yourself from that bubble and start a new life abroad. Most people choose England because English language is the most commonly spoken one, taught in every school and there are lots of jobs still around this island and the language is not that hard to learn. And let's admit, everybody knows somebody who live in the UK.

So I am here as well, mainly because I speak English at a very high level (I would never expose myself to a situation when I am completely dependent on others because of language barriers), partly because I know how to live here as I have lived here before. Convenient.
First we loved it. Even me, jobs came quickly, money was decent compared to the Hungarian salaries we earned. But the bubble soon popped... I started to feel that I have to pay a huge price for the money I am earning, which after four years, does not seem that much any more. Enough to pay the mortgage at home and support my mum, but not for much more. We still cannot go for fancy holidays, and we have been living in shared flats for years now, no privacy and lots of conflicts. By now I started to wonder if it is worth.

During these years my other half learnt to speak English from scratch to a decent communication level, he became a chef from a kitchen porter and he feels good like this, even though nothing can substitute fire fighting. His self esteem and social identity is quite messed up.

And me... From being somebody, a respected teacher, national examiner and a highly qualified tutor, I became a customer service person, smiling and licking asses for minimal wage and tips for people who look down on me, or behave like pigs just because they are paying for a certain level of service. The surprising fact is that the less they pay, the less civilised they are. Right now I work in Surrey, the richest county of England, and here the type of mental and social abuse is much less than during my years in Central London. Actually, Central London is the worst place ever to work at as a customer service assistant. You are nobody, people just want your service and pay, they are not interested in you, or even look down on you. There are exemptions of course, I had some regular customers who became like me and then learnt to appreciate me. The feeling is mutual, and I will always be grateful for that, they kept me going. Interestingly, they were all highly educated people who saw behind the scenes.

Still, it is not enough. Simply statements like the opening situation in this blog would make me shrink again, raging why I have to endure all this. I am about the change and get a teaching job again, so it will be interesting to see how different that will be after many years in customer service. This is one reason why I started this blog, to see the transition, document it and still give out the frustration created by customer service and my stage of life that I hate. We'll see if anyone reads it and interested in it. I am not going to promote my blog with friends and family, I would rather just write for myself and to the world and to those who are interested in these feelings or those who feel similarly. Those who know me will recognise me anyway >OFeel free to comment :) If not, then just read and enjoy. Abusive comments will not be answered and will be deleted. This is a peaceful blog with no hidden purposes and messages, free from politics and racism. Please respect this.

I have to got to work soon.... Will post again. Have a nice day everyone.