Cultural differences

Today Facebook popped up some memories from this day from previous years, and an article I shared made me bring up this topic:

http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/piss-hungarian/

When somebody moves abroad the first few week are both amazing and stressful. This is called a 'cultural shock'. Only those know who ever moved out of their comfort zone and home country, but it is worth of a topic to mention.

First time I went abroad for living was in 1997 when there was no EU, England was an island and it was not easy to get here. I had to go through an Au-pair agency, they sorted everything for me, no web interviews, no easy enter at the border. After a lot of hassle, paying fees, I landed at Heathrow airport, the family waiting for me. It was so big and modern. My boss had a huge Volvo and they loved on a huge farm, breeding Labrador dogs and cows (it was also the year of the mad cow disease, which is all forgotten now, but on that farm in that year I actually felt all the pain and frustration of farmers. I had also learnt to respect them.). I had to go to Slough to register myself and get work permit for that family only. Then I signed up for a language course in a college which seemed to me as something from the future. There was no internet, only writing letters to my parents and friends, and once a week very expensive phone calls through Hungary Direct, which meant my parents paid for phone charges. It was shocking and exciting at the same time. One positive side of it that I have many handwritten letters as memories from my dad who died long time ago, and from my mum and friends. They always warm up my heart when I read them during my visits back to Hungary now.

The biggest cultural shock was still Canada, even though in 2006 when I first went there as a Live-in Caregiver Hungary was already much more developed and open for the western world. But I will never forget the feeling when I landed in Toronto, sat in a huge American car and drove down to my new home. It was like suddenly popping into an American film. Massive highways, wide roads, skyscrapers (I felt dizzy looking at them, they will always fascinate me), different smells and bright bright lights. I felt like Gulliver in the land of giants. After a few weeks I got used to big spaces and different food, however most of my friends suffered from digestion problems and loss of hair because the food is so different and the water is so hard,
An extra positive shock came when I first went to the nature there. Never ever in my life had I seen such colours. the greens, and the colours of fall is so different to the colours in Europe. Later on I learnt at Canadian Studies that the trees have got a unique pigmentation in Canada, therefore you can only see those colours there in the world. Fascinating! The pictures in guide books are not photoshopped, it does look like that. Then we visited Muskoka, where I saw such crystal clear water that I could actually sew the stones at the bottom deep down at about God knows how many meters. Not to mention Niagara Falls and Devil's Punchbowl around Hamilton. Even though I never really felt home there and it was also too cold, I will always be grateful for life that I could experience it and live in that amazing country. One deep regret is that I never saw British Columbia and The Rockies.

And here I am now in England again, Hungary is an EU country and The UK as well. It was easy this time, no work permits, quick issue of a Social Insurance Number for my partner (I did have one from before) and there it is, easy to start looking for a job, all you need is a bank account.
First we lived in Manchester, a place where people are generally very friendly, but also sceptic about foreigners. First time in my life I was stopped in the street and asked what language we speak... There was one funny situation, at least for me, when my dear other half went to buy some beers. While walking home with the beers in his hands, a police car stopped him and wanted to check his identity, as apparently you are not allowed to carry alcohol uncovered there in the street.. Poor my man hardly spoke any English that time, had no ID on him, tried to call me but I was at work not answering the phone, so he ended up being leaded home with the police, they checked his ID there and told him off...He waited for me red faced and angry, but all I could do was laugh. Sometimes we learn cultural differences thorough our own mistakes.

Then came London, an alien. You have to accommodate to all kind of cultures and customs, in a way it is easy to merge there, but you need to have a very high level of tolerance to live within that environment.
Now we live in Surrey. Very posh.. Because of England wanting to quit the EU, and due to the fact that this island is seriously overpopulated now, I can feel first time ever that I am not really wanted here by many people. Customers ask me where I come from, interested in how I came here, but when I start talking to them there are always questions about my opinion on England quitting the EU, about the migrant crisis, etc. It is hard to phrase honestly but in a way I cannot get into trouble. Of course I do have an opinion, but when someone works in customer service, you have to keep it to yourself. It is like politics.

There is also an interesting factor about living on an island. Yes, even if it is a big and powerful country, the United Kingdom is an island. No matter if they part of the EU, they will always be separated by the sea and by the narrowed set of mind that nothing is too important outside the islands coasts as they do not need others, they were fine here for thousands of years. I am still surprised about the lack of international knowledge about nations, other cultures and people. Educated and rich people asked me what the official language is in Hungary (isn't it obvious?), I have been asked if I ride a horse here as we are a horse riding nation (yeah, we were before around year 1000, when finally Steven I settled the Hungarian tribes in the Carpathian Basin...). Saying that being Hungarian or Spanish is the same again makes me surprised... However, I had a young girl colleague in Manchester who was surprised by the fact that her going to Crete actually means going to Greece for a holiday. Education here in the UK is much more laid back and puts much less pressure on students then in Hungary, but on the other side it gives much less general knowledge about the world. You win, you lose. I am not sure if I want my future child being educated here or in Hungary...

Coming from an ex-socialist country, I also see a huge difference in the attitude to life and work between a long-term welfare society and the ones that grew out of ex-dictatorships. Here or in Canada, people are generally very lazy from an Eastern European person's point of view. I have talked about this with many friends, they all agree. In Eastern Europe or in Slavic countries you constantly have to survive, Even if communism is over. Corruption and unemployment is everywhere. You don't know what you are told, you can go home forever. No legal rights, no government help for housing and low incomes. Work until you die, that is all you can do. Nothing is sure, you cannot rely on your recent status in life, it can change in ten minutes any time. politics is everywhere, and incomes are so low that young people have no chance to buy an own flat, not to mention a house as nobody from the middle class could afford mortgage payments, or if they can you cannot be sure if it stays like that for the next 25 years. While in England, Canada you know if you work hard, or at least decently, you will keep your job as long as you can. Firing somebody takes hell of a lot of time and investigation beforehand here, as employees have rights. That is something which was new for me, but now I am getting used to it and I really like it. I do not need to be scared constantly of loosing my job. From a low-income waitress job, I can support my mum, we pay my other half's mortgage and we can travel within the UK or to home regularly. We cannot show too much yet, but I am sure we'll be there in three years time.

I could go on long pages about these cultural differences, but it is high time to stop now and get a bit of rest. As it is Easter weekend, and Bank Holidays are generally nightmares for people in customer service, catering and hospitality. Even if I manage to find a teaching job, I will always respect the people working in this industry as I know how hard and demanding it is. Al right, we get extra paid holiday days during the years, but it will never compensate not having Christmas, New Years Eve and Day, Easter, and so on. Not to mention the fact that never ever in my life I got extra pay for working all these Bank Holidays. Unlike Tube workers, Healthcare workers, etc.

That is all for today. By the way: a 'moggy' is a cat. Yes. And even many English people would not know it :)